


i dont wanna get my h**rt broke </3

by Anonymous



Category: Tiny Meat Gang (Band)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Surfing, Trans Character, Trans Male Character, Trans Noel, its pretty much does a validation fantasy that i projected on noel, sometimes you just gotta write how you feel bro!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-06
Updated: 2019-09-06
Packaged: 2020-10-11 07:50:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,065
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20542655
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: It was an inconvenient time for Noel realize that he was in love with his best friend. This was just a beach trip. Just as friends. Nothing more. They had been on loads of these in the past, just because Noel finally figured himself out didn't mean anything externally had changed.





	i dont wanna get my h**rt broke </3

**Author's Note:**

> another fic on anon bc im still baby  
dont send this to anyone in the fic or ill eat ur arms ! thanks !

Noel runs his hands over the leather steering wheel of his car. The radio offers a soft background noise as Cody and him make their way to the beach. It was a short drive, but one Noel loved to make. He loved the way Cody's hair blew in the wind as he stared out the window. He loved the way Cody swayed to the soft music, his thin lips a perfect pink as he mouths the words. 

He loved... everything about Cody.

Usually, he didn't overthink it, but the ease of driving always kicked his mind into high gear to compensate. Over the 40 minute, meant to be 20 minute, drive, Noel had started noticing more and more all the things he liked about Cody. Loved about Cody. How hopelessly in love with Cody he was. 

It was an inconvenient time to realize that he was in love with his best friend. This was just a beach trip. Just as friends. Nothing more. They had been on loads of these in the past, just because Noel finally figured himself out didn't mean anything externally had changed.

To fix this, he could just tell Cody and be done.

_"I just realized I am in love with you, how crazy is that?" He could say. Make a joke of it to make things easy._

_"Damn. That's _crazy_." Cody would respond and think nothing further of it._

_Or... He would look at him._

_"I'm in love with you, too. Even crazier, right?"_

Noel liked that option.

Unfortunately, he would keep his mouth shut since there was a minor secret he hadn't ever mentioned to Cody.

He was trans.

Which shouldn't cause as many issues as it did, but you would be surprised. Usually he was just upfront with his partners about it.

But this was Cody.

Cody was different.

If Noel came out to Cody and he reacted...poorly? Noel wasn't sure what he would do. Could they even be friends after that? His confession of love wouldn't mean anything anymore. He would be crushed.

He had considered telling Cody before now. Before he had realized he was in love. But it hadn't been Cody's business before. He didn't have to mention it. So he didn't. Noel simply kept it on the down low.

But if Cody liked him back? It would be his business then. Noel would be able to run his hands up Cody's shirt and kiss him hard. Noel would be able to ride Cody until he couldn't walk the next morning.

But not if Cody was repulsed by what was in his pants.

Noel hated that. It was an understandable fear. Noel had lost more than one partner option because of his identity, and it bothered him more than he ever let on. But he was also beyond frustrated that he had to give a shit about how people felt.

He had a pussy! Who cares? 

He shakes his head, trying to forget all of the new problems that arose in a matter of moments. Love was terrifying. "Fuck." He says, accidentally letting his thoughts spill over his lips.

Cody looks over. "What?" He tries to get a decent look at Noel's face.

Noel refused to look over at Cody, staring intently at the sea of traffic laid out in front of them. "You've been really quiet this trip. Are you good?"

Noel nods, looking for an easy excuse and his eyes land on the fuel gauge. "Yeah. Just worried about gas."

"We'll be fine. It looks like it clears up ahead. We've only got a few minutes from here." Cody was smiling brightly and Noel seemed to be in the clear. Maybe. If Noel could keep his emotions under control every time he saw Cody smile.

Which was unlikely.

Apparently it was supposed to be a great surfing day, not that Noel knew what that meant. Either way, Cody's board was latched to the top of Noel's car. It fit there like it was meant to be there, even though Noel didn't surf. He simply liked being with Cody, as cheesy as it sounded he was willing to fake the desire to want to go to the beach each and every time Cody wanted to go just so he could see the smile on his face.

Noel wonders why it took him until today to realize that he was in love. It all seemed so obvious now. 

At least Cody was still unaware.

After a few more minutes of driving they arrive at the beach. The parking lot was fairly bare. Very few other people were around, which was weird since Cody insisted it would be prime for surfing.

Noel didn't question it. It only meant things would be quieter. It gave him more time to work out what he wanted to do. 

Cody wastes no time. As soon as they park, Cody has the board off the roof and he dashes off into the waves. Noel lies in the sand as Cody's hair whips in the wind and mist hits his face always blinking it away with a certain satisfied look on his face. Cody wipes out a couple of times, but he always reemerges with a bright smile. Noel pretends not to be watching, but he couldn't think of anything he would rather be doing.

Cody always looked damn good whenever he surfed. The sun's rays made him look that much better. As if he were made for L.A. Noel liked that about him. He couldn't say he loved L.A., but he did love Cody. 

Speaking of. 

Cody was walking back to shore, board at his side. He sits down next to Noel with a grin. "You gonna get in?"

"Nah." Noel says, never had he intended to either. He didn't even bring a swimsuit to change into. To point this out, he looks down at his attire.

"Mm... I brought 2 extra outfits you could just change into one of them. Come on, man! You always drive me here, but you never do anything but sit. I could drive myself from now on instead if you don't want to be here."

"I do want to be here."

"Why?"

"I like hanging with you. That a crime?"

"You're not really hanging with me. You're just watching."

"Shut up."

"You wanna surf?"

Noel didn't surf, and Cody knew that, but it clearly didn't stop him from making the suggestion. "There's only one board." 

"That's okay, we could just take turns."

"I don't know how."

"I can teach you."

Noel wasn't seeing any other obvious outs, so he stands. "Okay, fine. What do I need to know?"

Cody then spends a few moments teaching Noel the ins and outs of surfing. Noel held on to every word, he found that everything Cody said mattered immensely. Even if not all of it was relevant to surfing specifically.

Noel paddles out and Cody swims out beside him, still giving him tips on what to do. But Cody wouldn't be able to guide him forever. 

Noel sees a wave, and paddles after it. He looks back at Cody who waves and smiles in encouragement. With a sigh he turns back, standing on the board at the moment Cody had told him to. He had underestimated his ability to balance and falls backward into the water almost the instant he gets to both feet.

Cody cringes from where he was watching, swimming in his direction to help Noel back up.

Cody finds him and holds him up by the waist, leading him to the board so he could hold onto it as he coughed and hacked up seawater.

"You okay, dude?" Cody asks, rubbing his back.

"Yeah." He coughs. "That sucked."

"Yeah, it's kinda hard. But hey! You did good for your first try. Do you wanna go again?"

Noel thought about the way Cody's arms felt hooked around his waist to help him back above water. Then he thought about the salty sting of the water in his lungs. There were pros and cons, "No. Thanks, though." But the decision was clear. Noel would prefer not to drown.

Cody laughs. "Cool. You wanna go back to shore?"

Noel nods still coughing up the last of the salty water as they swam back.

Noel threw himself into the sand, chest heaving with his eyes clothes to shield them from the sun . His soggy clothes clung to his skin uncomfortably, sand certainly sticking to him everywhere.

A shadow crosses over Noel's face, so he opens an eye cautiously to find Cody looking over him. The sun a halo behind his head. Noel had never been one to place men on a pedestal that resembles anything holy, but the way Cody looked? His small smile, looking over Noel like he could protect him from anything.

Noel was so so in love he was disgusted with himself.

"You wanna head back home?" 

Noel nods. "Yeah, but we gotta get changed first."

The pair gets changed quickly, and when they reemerge from the bathroom the sky had become dotted with dark clouds. Neither of them took notice.

Noel slips into the drivers seat, feeling an odd cozy feeling in Cody's clothes. They didn't fit right. They were too big, but the fabric smelled like Cody and Noel couldn't get enough.

He puts the keys in the ignition and turns them, rather than the familiar purr of the engine he was greeted with sputtering. He tries again, and more sputtering. The engine began smoking, but Noel hadn't noticed. He was too busy getting frustrated.

"Noel?"

"What?"

Cody just points to the black smoke rising from beneath the hood.

"Fuck."

Noel gets out of the car and slams the door behind him. Cody gets out too, watching as Noel pops the hood waving the smoke away from his face. 

Noel looks at the engine, playing around in the inside of the hood trying to get a better look. He ignores the drops of rain he feels on his skin as he slowly realizes this wasn't going to be a quick fix.

"I can't tell what's wrong with it." Noel scowls. "What time is it?" 

Cody pulls his phone from his pocket. "7:12, why?"

"The nearest auto shop closes at 6. We're stuck here."

Cody almost suggests just getting an Uber, since it was beginning to rain harder, but then remembered they couldn't just leave Noel's car here. 

Noel finally takes notice of the rain. "Yeah. Cool." He mutters, sarcasm dripping from his voice.

Cody puts a hand on Noel's shoulder. "There's a hotel right over there. Maybe we just stay the night and figure things out in the morning. Your car will be right here and since it's broken no one can steal it. It'll all work out."

Noel just nods. He follows Cody down the street and into the hotel, the storm growing worse as they go. They get drenched in the 5 minute walk and Noel was miserable and cold.

Cody talks to the front desk worker while Noel simmers behind him, only half listening to their conversation.

"Hey, do you have any rooms left?"

"Yeah, we got a couple. Just two?"

"Yeah, we'll take whatever room you got."

Cody pays and they head up to the room. Both sopping wet and shivering. The second Cody enters the room he practically rips his wet shirt and shorts off and lays them to dry in the bathroom. His face was bright red, clearly embarrassed, but he does his best to save face by making a unfunny joke about the situation. "Kind of stupid to change into something dry when we got wet anyway." He slips under the sheets on one of the two double beds to warm up and more importantly to cover his mostly naked body.

Noel just nods awkwardly. His bad mood fading to the back of his mind. He chooses to stand near the door chattering his teeth. He had no intention of undressing in front of Cody. His top scars were still a bit obvious and he had no desire to ask about them.

"Hey, are you good in those clothes? It's kind of cold."

Rather than thinking of a response, Noel's brain offers up a scenario for him. 

Cody would get up out of the bed he was lying in and tug on the hem of his shirt. Asking a silent question Noel would nod his head in response to. Cody would run his hands over Noel's body.

"You don't care?" He would say.

Cody would look up innocently. "About what?"

"I'm trans."

"You're a man in every sense of the word. Trans or not it doesn't make a difference to me, Noel."

"Noel...? Noel!"

Noel snaps back to reality. "Yeah?"

"Your clothes-- well...my clothes. Whatever. They're soaked, dude. You should take them off you might catch a cold."

That was sometime Noel hadn't considered, and when he did decided that he would be fine. "I'll be okay."

"Okay. If you're sure." Cody says, beginning to scroll mindlessly through all the messages he had been missing. 

Noel wasn't actually sure. He didn't want to be cold anymore, but there was no way he was going to undress in front of Cody. He glances at the bathroom. "Imma take a shower."

"Okay, have fun, dude." Cody doesn't look up from his phone.

Noel smiles and with a roll of his eyes he heads into the bathroom. Relieved to be out of Cody's line of sight, he peels his dripping clothes off with some difficulty. Immediately he felt infinitely better. 

The shower heats up fast and Noel steps in as soon as it does. He shuts his eyes and tilts his head back and lets the water run down his spine. The warmth fills his body and he isn't sure he ever wants to leave.

So he doesn't.

Not for a while at least. He spends over an hour possibly two in the shower. Most of the time he spends thinking. Weighing the pros and cons of coming out to Cody. Weighing the pros and cons of telling Cody he loved him. He could mention being trans and then wait to drop the other bombshell, but it seemed weird to wait. Noel just wanted everything off of his chest now. He didn't want to worry about it anymore. 

He hadn't needed to worry about anything like this since he started passing. Which was years ago, thank god, but being out of practice made him nervous. So he planned it all out. He just wanted things to play out like they did in his head. If they didn't he wasn't sure what he would do. 

After finally scrubbing the gel from his hair and washing the suds from his body, he steps out. He dries himself off and pulls his boxers back on. They were a bit soggy, but definitely not as bad as the shorts and shirt he had borrowed. It was a bit uncomfortable, but it was all he had.

He crosses his arms over his chest to cover the scars with care. He was gonna do it, but on his own terms.

He stares at the door.

He takes a breath. 

And finally makes his way back out into the room where Cody laid. It was dark outside now. The alarm clock on the bedside table read 9:23. 

"Hey, dude. You take forever." Cody says. He wasn't staring at his phone which was something Noel hadn't anticipated in his plan.

He slips under the sheets on the other bed as soon as possible. "It was warm." He shrugs.

"Okay." Cody fidgets with the sheets for a second. "Noel?"

"Yeah?"

"Are you okay, man? You've been acting kind of weird today."

Noel was only slightly impressed that Cody noticed. He was usually so good at keeping his shit under wraps, but after spending so much time with Cody, he was bound to pick up on the small stuff. "Yeah. Just a lot on my mind."

The pair sits in silence for a few moments. It was tense and weird, but as good a moment as any for Noel to speak. 

"Cody?"

"Yeah?"

Noel almost backs out, Cody's eyes staring at him with an intensity and worry that made him uneasy. Noel looks away. "I'm trans." 

Cody was silent for a second longer than Noel would have liked, but his response wasn't what he had prepared for. "Is that why you were acting so weird all day? You wanted to tell me?"

"Uh... Half of it yeah."

"Oh. Well, I'm glad you were comfortable telling me."

Noel likes that answer, but wasn't sure he trusted it. He had prepared himself for the worst, but this was going... good. Maybe even great. "Is that all?"

"Well, I mean...Yeah? You're a guy. I don't care if you've got a pussy or not. Makes no difference to me."

Noel smiles. "Cool."

"What was the other half?"

"What?"

"You said that was only half of why you were acting weird. What was the other half?"

"Oh. I'm in love with you." He was blunt, looking over at Cody this time. This confession seemed easier now that the first one went so well. Noel was riding a high, hopefully Cody's rejection wouldn't drag him down.

"What?"

"I'm--"

"No. I heard you. You're in love with me??"

"Yeah." Noel laughs at Cody's face, surprised and growing more red by the second. "That cool?"

"Better than cool! I've been trying not to say anything for months! Do you know how many times I've almost told you while drunk? Fucking ridiculous."

Noel was grinning like an idiot. He slips out of his bed and makes his way over to Cody's. He slips under the sheets and with a smile reaches over to lead Cody's face to his. And they kiss. Soft and easy like they were meant to fit together. Like soulmates. 

Once they pull apart, Cody opens his eyes slowly. "Sleep over here with me?"

Noel nods, "Yeah." He pulls the covers over them both, pulling Cody closer to him.

Cody shuffles back into him in response, grabbing his hands and kissing them both before he holds them against his chest. "Good! It's fucking freezing in here."

Noel laughs. "Night, Cody."

"Night, Noel. I love you."

"Love you, too, man."


End file.
